szczególnie rozumiem stan,
napierają na mnie z różnych strony ,,pola nacisku"
- o czym pisze dr. Estes :
how not be blindsided by various forcefields competing for her attention.
Polecam ów tekst napisany dzisiaj 1 grudnia 2010:)
"Dear Dr E... What is to be a " mother" nowadays? I ask you this because I am totally lost...I deeply want to have children but around me when I just hear so many women telling that they have no more time for herselves, no more time with their husband...that they are tired and overstressed....Its scary! What about motherhood in the XXI century...Is it possible to be a mother, a wife, a working woman and still running with wolfes? Thank you for four attention and all your beautiful stories. With Love. Cécile .( Paris, France)"
Follow your heart Cécile; there's a mother in the holy heart that can help decide this with/ for you.
The physical being, the outer and cultural mother has her stresses it is true, and has to learn to anticipate and pre-plan much and not be blindsided by various forcefields competing for her attention. There can be time enough for all, in the same way there is room and time enough for a beautiful garden to come to fruition if not too overcrowded, just cared for in cycles.
A mother learns to make instant adaptations when her best laid plans go astray. To anticipate that things will go awry and to have plan B and C as backup is one of the hallmarks of a reasonably calm motherhood.
But listen to the mother of the Sacred Heart, one who is not tied to nation or culture, or even family of origin... but rather is tied in communion with the soul... ask and think and dream and plan... and then see.
Were we never to speak again, our paths never cross again, I would say to rely on the sacred heart you carry, that each of us carries. It knows the way to meld reason and imagination, both.
And remember too, few of us beings on Earth are 'planned'... we snuck through wherever there was even the tiniest opportunity. As a line from one of my poems notes about the incredible 'one- in-a-million' chances we have of being born on Earth: "We can plan dinners and trips, but sometimes we are the one being planned by a tiny astronaut from afar."
I hope that last made you smile, for it is true and also can be very beautiful.
Dont be afraid, be wise as you can. Learn. 'Someday Mothers' are entitled to their own incubation periods, as they and fate choose ... taking time to develop their ideas as a potential mother, growing and expanding in ways and means... just like a baby. It is alright. More than alright. If you have that time, bless it. Many of us were 'suddenly pregnant' and had to scramble to try to learn 5000 pages of wisdom in five minutes flat. lol.
The thing is, few would think to build a ship without talking to some old ship builders; few would think to build a house without consulting some old master carpenters...
So, seriously, gather as much information as you can from not only frazzled mothers whose children are likely thriving nonetheless, but from mostly serene mothers whose children are also thriving;
ask them their secrets of serenity (when they have it, and when they do not) and what they have learned for having a mostly peacable life with children, a lover, a livelihood, a cat and a dog and ten goldfish, all in a small apartment.
Look for how adult partners love one another through stressed times. Take notes. Choose accordingly.
Consider all these and see for yourself. And thank you for asking the question. It is an important one. And a loving one.
and with love,
dr. Clarissa Pikola Estes